Betrayal

Each of us has known the pain of betrayal. If you have ever experienced a dating relationship that ended abruptly, you know the pain of betrayal. A friendship that has died and left you wondering "why," has been riddled with the pain of betrayal. We have been betrayed by parents, lovers, friends, siblings, spouses, and children. In those relationships where we have surrendered our hearts, become open and vulnerable, rested in the safety and security of another's love, and that trust has been broken... we have been betrayed.

Allender defines betrayal as "the breaking of an implied or stated commitment to care." It is, in essence, the failure of someone to care for the good of another....a breaking of covenant. Betrayal is a direct blow to one's dignity that mars our ability to trust, causes us to put up protective walls, and disengages us from relationships with others and with God.

I have been betrayed many times in my life. Each time, I have retreated from the relationship, ran and hid, or retaliated to hurt them back. Make them pay for the pain they have caused. Each attempt to control the situation, control the pain, has ended in a more complex, complicated journey, as I tried to find my way out.

Sadly, once again, I find myself walking the glass covered road of betrayal. I am in my barefeet, with no protection, each step ripping through my flesh, causing me to bleed tears of heartache, anguish, and lament. I don't deserve this. I was created for more than this.

My reality, though, as well as yours, is that this will not be the last time I am betrayed. I live in a broken world, with broken people, with one guarantee...that I will be cut again. The pain will sear again......How will I respond? Will I choose to see God in the midst of the turmoil? or will I run and hide? Will I choose to forgive?

My favorite quote in the book, The Shack, is: "forgiveness is letting go of another person's throat." Can I let go of his throat? Can I drop my arms and be vulnerable again? Can I trust Jesus to walk with me into the mess, into the darkness, into the places I don't want to go? Can I surrender it to Him?